Mulling Over the Weekend

Big Fiasco

How does it matter if it was a 'medium intensity' blast. How does it matter that it happened accidentally?. The fact remains that in spite of the apparently 'beefed' up security measures, two lives were still lost in a cowardly act of barbaric terrorism. As reported, the miscreants belong to a terror group other than the from the ones already under the police microscope. It was a heart rending sight to see the distraught mother of that 9 year old boy who expired in this incident. Yes, DPS (Delhi Police Service) had claimed into breaking into the terror nexus in the capital after the recent terror strikes. But somehow, this incident has reduced the credibility of those claims to nought.

Big Fight

Topic: Nanavati Commission Report : Clean chit to Narendra Modi

It was an absolute fish-market. There was hardly any scope for a balanced discussion as the participants freely used unparliamentary language. An example : "Would you please keep your mouth shut?".Teesta Seetalvad was as irritating as ever. I do believe that the lady is extremely capable; also that she has such an abundance of facts and with her sheer capability to remind/reiterate facts, she has a scope to present a very strong argument supporting her claims. I fail to comprehend why she almost always throws it all away by yapping incessantly and incoherently. As expected, the discussion always remained on the fringes and paid less than lip service to the actual issue in question. Everything, from the 1984 Sikh riots to the Babri Masjid demolition was discussed at the top of the participants' vocal chord capacities. Spokespersons of large political parties serve the purpose of marking their presence on such shows and providing fodder to other participants to chew on. Prakash Javdekar did just that. His inconsequential fulminations did their bit in disorienting the discussion every time the host tried to bring it on track. All in all, there wasn't even the slightest semblance of a unanimity or an agreement between our 'politicos'

A rare moment of unanimity between all the panelists was brought forth by an utterly irresponsible and completely despicable comment by senior journalist Harinder kaur. With uncharacteristic nonchalance, she exclaimed "Considering the kind of treatment Muslims are being meted out in this country, If I were a Muslim, I would be tempted to pick up a gun". Other panelists were quick to jump in and condemn the comment. Ma'am, you are a respected journo. People like me, look up to you to form opinions and to get a different perspective on various matters.A callous approach from your side on such a majorly sensitive issue was truly unwarranted and highly condemnable.

Big Fizzle

There is this new show "Ek khilaadi, Ek Haseena" whose pilot was aired over this weekend. A 'suspense' has been built up for the past many weeks as to what exactly they would make our cricketers do. Unlike my peers, my primary purpose of seeing this show was not Sushmita Sen. She was a bonus as far as I am concerned. My childhood hero 'Wasim Bhai' was going to be seen in a new role here and I was not going to miss it at any cost. I have grown up seeing the great fast bowler transform from a tearaway to a crafty all-rounder. The way he managed his hectic cricket life in spite of being a chronic diabetic is truly a source of inspiration.

Coming to the topic, : Kunal Ganjawala crooned to kick off this show.

"EK khilaadi, Ek haseena,

Thodi si partiiee, Thoda paseena"

Why in heaven/hell does everything have to rhyme? And with the amount of sense that the current introductory 'poetry' makes, it would not have been a bad idea to list out all the 'eena' words and choose the worst one.

My suggestions : Kameena, eena, meena, deena (no wait !, thats deeka), Kareena, Arena (it is spelt as areena) and many more ( I have lost the motivation to list any more)

Moving on; the show boasted of some current and some past cricketers and Nikhil Chopra. Vinod Kambli used to be a great batsman, till the fetish for ear-rings and inexplicably weird hair-dos took over from his affinity for the cricket bat. He still associates himself with his Shardashram exploits with the 'little master' and also with his long forgotten blitzkriegs in Zimbabwe when he scored a double hundred. I am not being sarcastic when i say, I truly used to regard Kambli as a very good batsman, one who was better than Tendulkar in terms of technique,stroke-power and elegance. I do not regard him as anything today and i must sincerely admit that seeing Vinod Kambli do anything other than play cricket , least of all , seeing him dance is like having a boil in the armpit.

'A boil in the armpit situation' is a pretty horrible one to be in , for those souls who are blissfull unaware of this. You know it is there. You want to clasp your arm but it pains because it is right there. And you cannot ignore it as it would send that shooting pain everytime you try to divert your mind and ignore it.

In case of Mr. Kambli in this show, I knew he was there. I tried to divert my attention off him by changing the channel but my mum would not allow me to do so and would shriek at the top of her voice " Do i disturb you when you are watching those disgusting wrestlers wringing each other's necks? or when you watch those dull-drab Test Matches?" I can't do much, so I squirm around in my seat withstanding the irritation that the 'subject' brings about in my head. But i do argue with mum that WWE is not a disgusting sport. It is a like a movie. And trust me it is much better than your 'run of the mill' Karan Johar b*llsh*t. On every diatribe of hers' on WWE, I tell her "Watch it sometime. It is completely scripted. Noone gets hurt in it and they almost always depict someone as the 'bad guy' and some one else as the 'good guy' and also show you a complete bashing of the bad guy by the good one. In short WWE depicts the vistory of Good over Evil" And each time i say that, I stick a fork into my neck.

There was pretty much more in the show that I would have been expected to cover in my account. Just that all this talk about an insipid dance show (Another one among seventy three others) is putting me to sleep.

I take leave from you at this point on this post with the hope that I can come with something more worthwhile in my next post.

Adios.

Wise Man Speaketh! (Hindsight Commencement -GK)

Below is a condensed extract of a hindsight sommencement speech by GK (Guy Kawasaki). (For a detailed account of the speech click here)

10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don't get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.

It somehow has a 'feel good' halo around it. 

Viewing the future, from the past!

"13000+ points isn't a small figure, kid" Rao Uncle exclaimed. Rao uncle is one of those vibrant middle aged men who take enormous interest in dispersing 'gyaan' to 'spring chicken' like me. He voluntarily retired (VRS) as the Deputy General Manager of the Union Bank of India and is currently working as a freelance consultant with some portfolio management firm in Hiranandani Gardens in Powai (Mumbai).

In his usual cheerful mood, he went on, "True, the sensex has spiralled down by 7000 points in the last ten months. When it was climbing up like a dream, I kept wondering - Whatever happened to gravity. During our time, the Sensex was somewhere around 3000 points." I expressed a sense of excitement at that statement. Rao uncle is one of those people who would say 'A dollar in a fund is worth two in a hand'. I started imagining the amount of cash he must have raked in, by now, with his age-old investments.

"You have such a lot of media-help to tell you where to invest, how much to invest, when to invest. The Dot Com boom has given you so many venues to weigh your investment decisions (he was referring to MoneyControl i presume). There are tons of TV channels covering the recent developments in the economy 24x7. We had just DDI and DDII during our time. We were totally dependent on the ET and our broker friends on the market floor to gain information about stocks," he said.

Meanwhile, even as uncle got busy buying his bus-ticket, i got a call from home. Mum usually likes to break out the 'Breaking News' to me. This time was no different and she came up with this mind boggling piece of 'khabar'. Anil Ambani had reportedly sued Mukesh for defamation; The amount, a whopping 10,000 Crores INR. I mentioned this piece of news to uncle. I believe he has been following the Reliance growth story right from the revered Dhirubhai's days and so he had a look of absolute disgust on his face. "Dhirubhai ka naam kharaab kar diya hai dono ne," he mumbled. "Ten years ago, this very Anil Ambani was working so close in collaboration with Mukesh. Dhirubhai was ailing but was very much alive and guiding these two in every decision of theirs. 2002 saw the demise of a great man and look at what these two have done to his name today. Shameful!", he exclaimed.

I had not started reading my daily ET yet. I usually follow a decorum and never insensitively interject when a wise man is sharing experiences. So, as uncle got ready to alight from the bus, i took out my daily copy of ET (dt 24th September 2008).

It felt somewhat different when i opened it first. There were no interesting graphics on the front page and the headline read Sensex falls to 2832 points. That really got me interested as to what exactly was the matter with the paper. I went on to read further and it said Mobile Incoming calls, now free. I was literally smiling as i read this. It had dawned upon me that these were pieces of information from about a decade ago.

Rahul Joshi (exec editor of the ET), like Rao uncle, had turned the clock about a decade back in history. The front page articles of the then ET were extremely refreshing to say the least. India has truly come a long way from what it was about ten years ago.The present seemed somewhat rosy when I contemplated on the past after reading those information-bits. I just wished i could see 'Tomorrow's present' as well because,we are the ones shaping it by our today's actions.

All this set my neural circuitry in operation. It would really have been great if i could have viewed the future. At this point I just want to be as optimistic and hope that the Indian Economy would be booming to such a major extent that it would enable me to tell the kids of the future, how much their nation's horizons have expanded. Technology, the enabler, will have developed so much as to bring channels like CNBC TV-18 to people's mobile handsets. I envision a fully educated, thoroughly empowered and a well informed India pondering over its investment decisions and opportunities. I truly hope that one day the ET would come up with headlines such as 'Global Warming has completely been stemmed ; Our future is secure' and that I would be able to tell a young reader of this headline -- "Yes, my generation contributed towards the success of this phenomenon"

Well, if my wishes were horses, I would have seen a windfall at Races.

Whats in a name anyway?

No, i will not start this post with the trite 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet' . My intention through this post is to highlight the absolute incorrigible demeanour of my peers and (Sheepishly)mine.

If you happened to read my earlier posts, you must be well aware of JK. Yes, I am referring to Jagapathi Kondragunta , my famous friend who also happens to be a quiz and a talk show host. Somehow i too suffer from this name-condensation fixation as do innumrable others around me. PradeepKumar Prajapati, for me, is 'Pappu'. The person in question happens to be an enterprising guy in my team at work. Trust me, it does get extremely embarrassing at times for both of us when , during important presentations,I inadvertently or out of force of habit blurt out "Ey pappu, woh projector theek kar na".

People around usually employ a standard algorithm to slaughter the names of their near and dear ones. They just crop the name to its nearest identifiable form and attach a 'u' ,an 'a' or a 'y' to personalize it. This phenomenon is not deficient of any exceptions though. A Sandeep being baptized to a 'Sandy' is not unusual but why people would call 'Shobha' as 'Shobhu' is beyond my comprehension.

The very few bengali friends that i have are constantly irritated by the names that their folks or extended families address them with. Debobrata Mukherjee is a beautiful name. Legend goes that when Deb was born, pandits from all over the land were called for. Probable vowels and consonants in 'Bangla' were listed. A considerable amount of deliberation was put in just to establish that the name would not prove inauspicious for the child. I am told that Deb's aunt had come up with the name 'Mrinmoy' (anything made out of mud). Though it was unique, it was rejected outright (because of its meaning , i assume). You must be wondering why i am delving into this level of detail about someone you don't even know. Here comes the mind boggling piece of information - Debabrata is 'lovingly' called boltu by his parents.Just for the record, Deb's younger brother, Nilotpal is referred to, as laltu .I can almost see the perplexed smile on your face; I am as clueless as you are.

Throughout my college life, I alongwith a number of my close friends were addressed by our last-names. I am sure you would agree that this is pretty normal. The consequence was that a few of my friends did not know my first name till the third year of engineering. There are times when many of my pals have sported a puzzled look when someone asked them about 'Nikhil'. I too, have been on the wrong side of this phenomenon. On one occasion, I had invited a certain friend of mine to my residence. You cannot imagine the pickle i found myself in when I had to introduce this guy to my parents (It is not good decorum to introduce someone only by his first name)." Dad, Ma, This is ... err... ahem... ".... "Hi Aunty, I am Vivek.", he jumps in and helps himself, much to my relief.

Paucity of bandwidth and motivation,alike, have always popped up and prevented me from rambling on about something. This happens to be a case on the same lines, wherein i have to be content with the justice i have done to this topic and allow JK to take over and distribute some of his pearls of wisdom.

JK.. err... Jagapathi Kondragunta tells me that i have been a fool to choose this topic to ruminate. He has now, thrown an open challenge to me, in that, he wants me to use his full name every time i refer to him in my posts. I humbly decline to accept this challenge of his saying "Well, JK , I would rather prefer to be incorrigible. Whats in a name anyway?"

Brave death, Sham Coverage...

At martyr inspector M.C Sharma's funeral, we were witness to a couple of truly poignant scenes when the the flower decked body of this brave officer received a gun salute by a Delhi police contingent. Family and friends bid a tearful farewell to this slain inspector. It was truly touching to see a distraught son unable to perform last-rites on his father. 

Had the media resorted to a sensible coverage of the event, we surely would not have been left with a sour taste in our mouths, as is the case now. The utterly irresponsible coverage by the television media and the visible indifference of the 'dignitaries-at-the-occassion'  really left a lot to de desired.

Firstly, i was amazed at the scale of the coverage. My mind kept questioning me as to where these politicians were when six valiant policemen had died in an attempt to foil the Parliament Attack bid. Six families had to sacrifice their sons for one Afzal Guru. I can distinctly remember that the processes that followed a conferment of 'gold medals' to the slain officers were considerably low-key. I request you not to misconstrue my intentions here, for, I do not wish to drag the deceased officer (Mr. Sharma) into this discussion and attempt to besmirch his name. 

Many 'dignitaries' from both the houses of parliament happened to 'grace' the occassion. It was a disturbing sight to see Mr. Murli Manohar Joshi and Ms. Sheila Dikshit smiling and chatting away with no visible respect or consideration for the sombreness of the situation. The respected leader of the Opposition, Mr L.K.Advani did not let go of even this chance to take a dig at the union government. 

I quote:

"How long will this process of allowing our brave soldiers and security men to die at the hands of the dastardly assassins, these terrorists continue? Is there going to be an end to this or not? I believe that unless there is a fundamental change in the attitude and approach of those in authority, the political leadership, this is not going to end." 

Well Advaniji, this was neither the right time nor the right place...

The Media would not be left far behind in this mockery. As scribes scurried to the martyr's distressed parents, I could not help but wonder 'Will the family get no private moment amidst all this turmoil'? The journos badgered the unfortunate parents with highly insipid questions like "Aapko kya lagta hai? Kya humien unko muh tod jawaab dena chahiye?" (Do you feel we should give the terrorists a befitting reply? ). Sharma's father had problems of his own. When posed with that aforesaid inconsequential query, he started off with his own pension related woes. He was smoothly whisked away by some people and media also did not wish to 'interrogate' him any further. Media persons are clinically rude sometimes i must say, for they want to cover only those people who are ready to give them desirable snippets.

Though Mr. Sharma is supposed to have been a highly decorated officer in the DPS ranks, his family is (very evidently) rooted in typical middle class values. He, being the sole earning member of this family, it was pretty natural for his mother to start thinking of how the future shall take its course. What was not natural was the media-probing on this aspect. The crippled mother went on to publicly express her anguish and anxiety ,reflecting strong cynicism about the future in the process. As the cameras panned across the people surrounding her, it was all the more disturbing to see a couple of females grinning at her utterances.

This is definitely not the first time when the media and the politicians have made a solemn occassion look like such a sham. For a long time now, people from all walks of life, eminent speakers and leaders have urged the media to act in a responsible manner. All of us want the media to refrain from reducing people and their emotions to mere reality bytes. All of us want the politicians to feel truly empathetic for people like M.C Sharma; after all it is solely because of officers like him that they are able to talk numbers and take credit in those 'post-successful-operation' press conferences. O Mantriji, a funeral pyre is not a parliament session where you have to mark your presence to achieve the minimum quorum. Try and feel the pinch. Pray, do not be there to just make your presence felt.

Notwithstanding Innumerable such instances and scathing criticism, the 'tamasha' still continues. And it promises to continue unless our news-channels and 'mantris' miraculously manufacture some conscience and sensibility in their already-stoned medulla oblongatas.

Meri Junk

PepsiCo Foods, has come up with two new flavors of KurKure. In keeping with tradition, i tasted both, this afternoon and i am feeling cheated to say the least.

Kurkure 'Desi Beats' : An inexplicable name and hackeneyed packaging does no good for the brand or bring it to consumers' notice. After Bingo created "Horrible confusion, with great combinations" among Kurkure loyalists, Pepsico has had to see a slump in business. Going MAD and creating ANGLES was the last thing they should have done. Where is the differentiator? When will the creators wake up from their perennial slumber and revamp the whole product? Either i am oversimplifying the whole issue or missing something fundamental here. From the time of its introduction, Bingo has literally gobbled up the junkie market and I have not sighted any constructive creative and mitigative initiative from Pepsico at all.

I still am a hardcore Kurkure loyalist. Reduction of the size of the wafer sticks, Juhi Chawla being chosen as the brand ambassador, Pepsi-Co foods creative ad-team going into a hibernation ; Yes, i have seen it all. Yet, somewhere at the corner of my teeny weeny cerebral region, i still feel that PepsiCo foods will rise above floating insipid offers or distributing free ringtones and get down to serious business.

In today's age of cut-throat competition and rapidly changing business scenarios, it aint logical or feasible to give your consumers a free 'Santoor Sandal Soap' with a wafer packet or try and entice them by pasting their gleeful photographs on your wafer packets. Things just got a lot more serious guys. It aint Masti anymore.

To say the least, i just hope that i would soon get to 'chakh' new flavors rather than the same tried and tested 'shapes'.

Dhanyavaad, MSEB

Its been about 3 months since Maharashtra has been reeling under severe power shortage. I, along with several other mumbaikars have been on the “affected list” due to the frequent power-cuts.

People of this country have been known to express their views rather freely on issues that affect them(read vandalism and hooliganism , select occasions , of course). This case was no exception. It did not take much time for the “mumbling and grumbling about the problem “ among the people to metamorphose into a much stronger form of protest that would start from signature campaigns and evolve into “banner protests” against the apathy of the government.

I have always been a rebel in thought and action. Again, in this case I beg to differ from the sea of people in Mumbai.The power cuts have been a blessing in disguise ( for me at least).This I would like to explain by first givin you guys a little background of how things have progressed, in my life.

I first got a computer ( a home –pc ) when I passed out of 12th and it has been a long standing addiction ever since. My parents were of the opinion that a professional course (I am talking abt engineering here,,laugh ur ass off guys!!) would demand the need for a computer at home. Its been four years now and the computer has been more of a distraction than of much help!

Most importantly, it has successfully alienated me from reading books. The last time I read a book was the Google Story ( I admit, thts extremely poor frequency at reading!).I know I am striking a chord among many people reading this when I say , it does not need to be anything worthwhile on the computer to keep you hooked on to it for hours on end.

Precisely , why I say , the power cuts have been a blessing, they have compelled me to revert to cultivating that reading habit I had lost eons ago. Many of you may argue that reading an e-book amounts to the same as reading a book ( I am talking abt the hard-copy here).Again, I beg to differ, an e-book gives you the “find” option , a super- handy tool if you wish to skim through. ( a book gives you the index , no doubt, but only the keywords are listed! , and pray tell me, which fiction novel provides you with an index?!!)

Most of you might subconsciously agree that a computer takes away too much of your productive time. The use that this time could have been put-to can be realized only when there is a power-cut.. Naaaaah! Don’t gimme that crap about exercising self control, we are teenagers( not officially any more, but at heart, yessir!!) not hermits.Control is something , that does not come to us naturally.

So when such an “not under our control” situation such as a power cut props up , we are driven to scout for newer vistas for spending time in some manner …I did it by reading. You might have engaged in something better and constructive , you might also have discovered something fruitful out of your endeavours..
Do try to analyse your realization and then do tell me if you happened to reach the same inference as I have ( through this article!)

Namaste, Madam President!

Again, a pretty old article that i had penned...

Namaste, Madam President.

Notwithstanding all the mudslinging that the NDA indulged in over the past month, Madam Pratibha Patil managed to come out trumps this past week. India got its first woman ‘first citizen’ in 60 years.

The presidential race saw the entire Electoral College stoop down to the levels of a municipal election. Allegations of tokenism, venality, misappropriation flew fast and furious. After the storm has now taken refuge as simmering discontent in the minds of all NDA loyalists, one tends to ponder what the reciprocation of Mrs. Shekhawat (nee Patil) would be to all those people who left no stone unturned in besmirching her name.

Credit has to be given where it is due, and this case is no exception. The woman maintained a stoic silence during the entire campaign. The silence was interpreted as her inability to refute the charges leveled against her. I would see it as a case of ‘Let the dogs bark; my caravan shall go on’. The only thing that remains left to be seen is whether she behaves as a true blue states’woman’ when it comes to imparting a decision in favor of her detractors.

Its just a day past after Dr. APJ has bid adieu to Raisina Hill. It’s still too early in the day to go on and analyze all the statements of Madam Patil and pass judgments on her. Let us give her some time. After all, Dr. APJ also had his share of bloopers ; One of application of president’s rule in Bihar at the insistence of the UPA government.

But one thing is for sure. In Dr. APJ, we had a president who was approachable. A new age guru, who took the realm of presidency to a new level altogether. A true statesman, who did not budge while sitting at the feet of the entire media fraternity with his legs crossed while attending their queries and giving them pointers at the Ramnath Goenka memorial debate. In him, we had a figure like Nehru. In him, we had someone whom both the older generation and the younger generation could look up with reverence.

From all that we have seen of Madam Patil, she does not look one, who can replicate Dr Kalam’s charisma.

Time will tell.