Monday, April 27, 2009

Murphy's laws P&C

  • Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
  • Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
  • The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
  • After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  • Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
  • The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization.
  • Hardly anyone gets sick on Wednesdays.
  • If the salesperson says, "All you have to do is..." you know you're in trouble.
  • Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
  • A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
  • No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
  • All Constants are Variables.
  • No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you fool around on the Internet.
  • In a transistor circuit protected by a fuse, the transistor will always blow to protect the fuse.
  • The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.
  • Some one always gets the good jobs first.
  • The job you want is well paying, interesting, fun, rewarding, conveniently located, or attainable; pick one
  • If you come late to the office, the chances are, your boss is already in his room.
  • Your Boss will always call you, when you aren't at your desk.
  • The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • The other line always moves faster.
  • If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  • Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
  • Murphys golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

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