Murphy's laws P&C

• Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
• Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
• The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
• Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
• To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
• The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization.
• Hardly anyone gets sick on Wednesdays.
• If the salesperson says, "All you have to do is..." you know you're in trouble.
• Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
• A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
• No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
• All Constants are Variables.
• No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you fool around on the Internet.
• In a transistor circuit protected by a fuse, the transistor will always blow to protect the fuse.
• The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.
• Some one always gets the good jobs first.
• The job you want is well paying, interesting, fun, rewarding, conveniently located, or attainable; pick one
• If you come late to the office, the chances are, your boss is already in his room.
• Your Boss will always call you, when you aren't at your desk.
• The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• The other line always moves faster.
• If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
• Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
• Murphys golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.